I hope everyone has a great time tonight ringing in the New Year! I always worry tonight about all the drunk drivers out there who think they are okay to drive.... We aren't doing anything tonight just like every other year, I doubt I will even stay up till 12:00 o'clock.
I have been so melancholy today it has put me in a bit of a funk. Sometimes you see something happening and you want to scream out stop but you know it's really not your place. I'm speaking about my daughter-in-law now being a stay at home gal. My son has said he is fine with her not working and staying home. I have been a stay at home mom for most of my married life and to tell you the truth I think that is one of the things I would change if I were to be able to go back in time. Now I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing I'm just saying my thoughts on the topic. I feel it has really lowered my self esteem in many ways... Like today for example I went food shopping (I seldom get the chance to get away from the house since my husband always has the car but he isn't working this week), when I got home my husband wanted to know how much I spent and to give him all the remaining money that was leftover. I said I liked having some cash in my pocket and he said, He does all of the food shopping and he pay all the bills, and picks up the horse feed ect. so I don't need any money. I told him I wrote down everything I spent and posted it on the frig to keep track of our spending, he said he didn't need to keep track of the spending. I said but I like to know where the money is going, he said it was his money and as long as I have everything I need I shouldn't worry about it! How about those apples!! I felt so low, my husband has always said he didn't want me working but when money problems arise it is always my fault for not working and bring in money. It has always given him the upper hand in our marriage because he knew not being out in the working field I would make very little and never be able to live on my own. It might be just my husband but I don't think it is, I see this alot with gals who spend years being the "stay at home mom". Sooooo when I see my daugher-in-law following my path I just want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her what possibly lies ahead for her and does she want that.... but I will sit back and hope I can send hints here and there to make her find a job she is happy with and lets her always be an equal in her mariage.
Like I said getting all the negative thoughts out there so I can start fresh tomorrow....
Until Next time - God Bless!!